Host without holding
To open and offer in such a way as to host all of life and all it brings is an exercise in abiding trust.
My word of the year is space. I’ve been thinking about how to create space, to hold space, to take up space. But this morning, it came to me in a new way, that of offering space.
I find that offering space is very different than, say, offering help. It’s, well, spacious — non-manipulative and without agenda. It invites, but doesn’t control. And it’s the trees I love so much that are currently schooling me in how this is done.
I watch as a tree offers space to scampering squirrels running up and down its length. To woodpeckers carving it out and children climbing its branches. To both delightful chickadees and demanding crows (sometimes simultaneously). To the rains, winds, and sun. All of it is allowed. All received. None refused. The tree doesn’t demand that they come, nor that they remain, nor that they leave. There is complete freedom. A tree may host, but it does not hold.
Did you know that a host is defined as a person who receives? Oof! To receive all that comes. To grant it access and take it in.
“Welcome and receive [to your hearts] one another, then, even as Christ has welcomed and received you, for the glory of God” (Romans 15:7 Amplified).
I find this hosting without holding — this offering of space for both the coming and the going — to be helpful, health-full, and healing in my own life. Not only in relation to people, but to emotions and events as well. No guarding, no gripping, all grace. To open and offer space in such a way as to host all of life and all it brings is an exercise in abiding trust, and a precious gift.
May we be able to receive and release while remaining deeply rooted. May we allow all of life and all it holds to both come and to go. May we not close, not clamp, not clutch, not control. Yes, please, and help.
Host without holding: Our Little Life Words of the week.
If this met you in a meaningful way, please consider supporting my words and work in the world! Thank you kindly!
DEEPER DIVE
Ponder:
What is the tree of your life currently hosting? What people, emotions, and / or events?
What feelings rise up in you as you think about receiving each one, giving them space? Allowing them to both come and go?
Practice:
Draw a picture of your life’s tree, including that which you are hosting. Consider drawing the people, emotions, or events as animals (birds, squirrels, bears, monkeys, etc). Notice what’s there and possibly how they are interacting with each other. Notice also what’s missing.
Use the following body prayer, centered on only 4 words (await, allow, accept, attend), as a way of opening and allowing.
Play:
The song we’re playing this week is: Tree by Justin Rizzo
Pray:
For our prayer, I invite you to join me in using the welcoming prayer this week.
Speaking to my own words and heart this morning. I need to hold…but not hold hostage. Thanks so much, my friend.
These are such beautiful and profound thoughts! Hosting without holding. This will remain with me. Thank you!